Therapeutic Boundaries - What are they and why do we need them in therapy?
I've noticed that the summer and autumn seasons are two periods in the year when many transitions happen, not just because of the changing seasons but also because our ways of being change a lot in these periods. We might finish school and start a new job. We might shift into a new schedule or routine. We may move house or change cities. We may go on holiday or spend more time with friends and family. Whatever the reasons, a lot is going on, and it can get hard to hold it all, not just on a practical level but on many other levels, too.
With all these changes happening, breaks, cancellations, and missed appointments tend to become more frequent in therapy. There is often an effect on the work when this happens, and one result is that there are opportunities to explore why and how these changes are having the impact that they are. The therapeutic boundaries are the points at which much can be illuminated about ourselves and how we relate to others, which is why boundaries in therapy are so important. You may wonder, 'What are therapeutic boundaries, and what makes them therapeutic?'
Therapeutic boundaries are the glue that holds the work together. Just like personal boundaries, these professional boundaries set up the parameters of the therapeutic relationship to meet the client's needs. The therapist is responsible for holding these boundaries, no matter the client's actions or requests, and maintaining these boundaries ultimately helps maintain the progress and effectiveness of the therapeutic work because it keeps the client's best interest at the heart of it. That doesn't mean that, for the client, it always feels like this is the case.
As a client, you may wonder why your therapist made you pay, even when you had a good reason to miss your appointment. You may feel frustrated when your therapist cancels on you or goes on holiday. You might need help to see the purpose of starting and finishing sessions on time. You might be curious about your therapist and feel disappointed that you can't know about their life, too. This is all helpful information about how you experience boundaries. And there are good reasons why therapy is set up like this.
A therapist's boundaries are therapeutic for many reasons:
Consistency and predictability: Maintaining the same time, day, and start and finish times can help create a sense of safety for clients and build trust in their relationship with their therapist. It can also be healing for those who grew up in chaotic environments, moved around a lot, or didn't know what to expect from their environment.
Power: The therapeutic relationship has an imbalance of power because of the therapist's authority. The therapist has access to private information, they hold specialized knowledge, and they influence decisions. The boundaries help protect against abuses of power because they define the expected and accepted psychological and social distance between the therapist and the client. Boundaries can empower clients to take more responsibility for their lives and become creators of how their life looks and feels.
Protects against dependency: a lot of people are fearful of going to therapy because they don't want to become dependent on the therapist. Co-dependency results from no boundaries or a lack of consequences when boundaries are crossed. These boundaries are meant to model what boundaries look like in healthy relationships. The fact that the therapist is not always available and there is a limit on the care that is offered does not mean they don't care - it's likely the opposite (it's because they do care!), and that's because a big part of the work is learning how to emotionally regulate ourselves, to resource outside the therapy, to practice being with the uncomfortable stuff, and to give ourselves a chance to apply what we are learning in therapy - to name just a few examples. Consequences may seem harsh, but they help you become an active agent toward better health.
Safety: feeling safe in therapy is essential to getting the most out of the process. Therapy should not contribute to your problems; boundaries help create a safe environment to explore what you need to heal. However, that doesn't mean that you will always feel safe and that things should feel easy in therapy. My point is that if you experience a sense of not feeling safe and it's too challenging because of your therapist, it's important to acknowledge that and address this with your therapist.
Ethics, laws, and codes: therapists are bound by certain governing bodies' ethics, codes, and regulations. These vary depending on the governing bodies your therapist is associated with. The therapist's physical location plays a role in what they can offer their clients and who they can work with. These parameters are intended to protect clients from malpractice as much as possible.
Accounting for cultural differences: expectations, customs, and values differ from country to country, and therefore, the judging of appropriate boundaries may vary, and some boundaries may shift to account for these differences so that the therapist is more person-centered.
Therapist self-care: therapists need to take care of themselves to take care of their clients effectively. It is an act of care and responsibility to clients when therapists are mindful of what they can and cannot offer. It can become an ethical issue when therapists do not honour their self-care needs or their limitations, as it can significantly affect how they show up in their work and the care they provide.
Dual relationships: therapists can't be your friend, lover, or boss because this compromises the therapeutic relationship. Boundaries help maintain the professionalism of the work to safeguard against the therapist's needs being met over the client's therapeutic needs. In this way, therapy is one-sided, and that one-sidedness is one of the most healing aspects of therapy. It helps ensure the therapy remains in your space more than anything else.
While this is a non-exhaustive list, boundaries are essential for the integrity of the therapeutic work. There are some instances where boundaries are negotiable, but these need to be made with careful consideration and conscious intention. I mentioned that accounting for cultural differences is one area where boundaries can be bent, and there may also be cases where a therapist crosses the boundaries. If they do, it needs to be because it is in the client's best interest. For example, your therapist may hug you, offer you an additional session, or make a home visit, and these accommodations are meant to be helpful for the therapeutic relationship and the client's progress.
Boundary crossings are different than boundary violations, which involve exploitive, dual relationships with clients, such as sexual relationships or business relationships. Additionally, breaking laws, codes of conduct, and other ethics and codes are also violations of boundaries.
Therapists will have different boundaries depending on the context, what they can offer with consideration of their competency and approach to therapy, and how they may negotiate the boundaries to personalise the therapy to fit the client better. So, while there are boundaries that must not be violated, some boundaries are negotiable. Speaking to your therapist about how you experience boundaries can lead to deeper insight and help you set parameters that work best for you and your unique therapeutic needs.
